Wanna good laugh?

Since laughter is the best medicine, I thought I would post some funny things that L has done and said on here, mostly so I can come and read them when I need a good chuckle. I hope you enjoy...

1. After returning from Sea World, we saw a news clip about a baby panda bear being born. G asked L, "What else is black and white?", expecting to get an obvious "Shamu" for an answer. L sat tapping her chin in deep thought and yelled out "Uncle J.T.". (For those of you who don't know J.T., he is my youngest brother who happens to be African American)

2. During the very frustrating stage known as potty training, L became a little too fascinated with bathrooms, wanting to visit every single stall of every bathroom in sight. At Disneyland, this quickly was turning into "the main attraction". After several unsuccessful trips to the bathroom and L still insisting she needed to go, G explained to her that this wasn't a game and if she didn't go this time, she was going to get a spanking. I took her to the bathroom, where she moaned and grunted as she tried. Finally she exclaimed her full name (first, middle and last) and spanked herself on the bottom. She then told me, "All done" and hopped down from the toilet.

3. One day while playing at Mammy and Pops' (G's parents) house, L fell down and bonked her bottom. She went over to Pops and insisted that he kiss it.

4. During the sermon at church one Sunday, L was fully engaged in one of her favorite hobbies, picking her nose. She used to grab her nose when she was shy or embarrassed, but we have now evolved into a full force picking. L and I have had many talks in the past about this lovely habit and how to use a tissue and I thought she might be catching on. Once I noticed what she was doing, I calmly removed her finger and placed her hand in her lap. She immediately began exclaiming, "Mommy, I have to get my boogers out" at the top of her lungs. For a child who doesn't always speak clearly, she sure picked a good phrase to pronounce perfectly.

5. When L was still in diapers, she had chronic diaper rash. Our pediatrician introduced us to a product called Boudreaux's Butt Paste. On occasion, I would go to change her diaper and notice a rash starting to form and ask G to throw me some cream. Since we owned at least one tube of every remedy that might work, I usually would specify, Butt paste. Little did I know that there was a parrot in the room. It was one of her first phrases. It only got worse when she learned to say "rash", pronounced by a one year old as "asssh". She would run around the house pointing to her bottom saying assssh, usually forgetting the "h" and crying for butt paste. Whoever happened to be at the house at the time would inevitably fall over laughing, encouraging more (thanks M, LQ, C and K!).

6. One night M, LQ, G, L and I decided to go to a mexican food buffet near our house. L had just started mastering the skill of the spoon and was happily trying to pick up rice with one hand and eat a taquito with the other. I decided to see if I could help by trying to get rice in the spoon for her. She immediately went into a rage, tensing up, growling and crying. Then in a terrifying move she bit the head off of the taquito like a T-Rex. It think it was baby sign language for "back away from my food or your next"! I think we have all had "taquito moments" in life.

7. L, on occasion will watch the t.v. show "Barney". One of the songs that Leah really likes on there is an older song called "Boom, boom ain't it great to be crazy?". While Trick or Treating this year, we went to one of our neighbors house's. The old man that lives there really tries to be nice, but he is just a little off his rocker. He tries to do this Donald Duck voice, but it's more like Donald Duck playing the role of Satan with emphysema. Scary, I know. Anyway, L took some candy from his bowl while he made these lovely sounds. As we were walking back down his driveway, while still shaking from fear, L tells me, "Bob is boom boom".

8. Anytime I sing a song to L in it that has the phrase "I love you" in it, she sings along "you love me". So the Barney theme song starts off a little something like this; "You love me, you love me, we're a happy family."

9. One day this past summer, I was carrying out the dreaded task of finding a new swimming suit. I hate this job! L was standing next to me in the dressing room at a sporting goods store while I tried on my bathing suits. She pointed at me and yelled, "Mommy big juggies". Thanks G!

10. The last week or two, L has begun bugging us about wanting a baby sister. A lot of my friends are pregnant right now and she thinks we are a bunch of slackers, I guess. The other day after asking for one, I was explaining to her that babies are a lot of work. I asked her if we did have one would she help mommy feed it, rock it, change its diaper and teach it lots of things. She nodded and then added, "and teach her to pick her nose". I have no doubt that we can count on her for that!

11. L's pediatrician name is Dr. Haggerty, but Leah think Dr. Haggy sounds better.

While I'm on a roll here are some funny stories I can remember from my siblings...

1. In the middle of church one Sunday, my brother R (about 4 years old) stood up and yelled, "Mom, it's Mary Poppins" to a woman wearing a hat in the back of the auditorium.

2. J.T. (at about 2) upon noticing G's tattoo, spanked him and said, "No, no. Draw on paper."

3. C (maybe 5) accidentally said a bad word. I tried to explain to him that it was a bad word and he kept covering his ears and laughing. I finally got stern with him and asked if he had heard me, to which he replied, "Yes, I heard you. I'm not constipated." If the poor kid is that backed up, someone please call Mr. Rooter.

4. One day while at my parents house I overheard a conversation with J.T. (3) and S (4). J.T. was sitting on the potty and S was sitting in the kitchen coloring. J.T. asks S, "So boys have a winky and girls just have a front butt, right?" The look on S's face was priceless.

5. On my parents farm they had goats. Mommy goat met Daddy goat and they fell in love. Mommy goat got pregnant and had baby goat. All of the kids came around to see this new little creature as my mom investigated and found out the goats gender. Some of the obnoxious, I mean older, kids were giving my mom a hard time and asking how she could tell. She had a very good come back. "It's no different than at the hospital. If they put a blue cap on you, your a boy. If they put a pink cap on you, your a girl." J, who has severe brain damage, (probably 6 or 7) responded with, "They put a handi-cap on me." It was almost not funny!

6. A few weeks ago, J.T. (7) came running into my parents bedroom and did a flip, landing on their bed. My dad was working on his laptop and looked over at the commotion. J.T. simply explained, "Dad, I'm all sugared up!"

7. The kids in my family have a way of turning normal household projects into a lot of fun. One day while J.T. (7), S (8) and M (11) were peeling wall paper in one of the bathrooms, J.T. was dancing. S asked him why he's always shaking his booty. J.T.'s response? "Oh, that's my tail. Do you like it? I just got it permed."

8. After having several other kids interrupt her while trying to talk to mom, S (6) raised her hand and yelled, "Talk to the hand, I'm talkin' to my mamma".

I'm sure as soon as I publish this post, I will think of a hundred more, but for now it's off to bed. I'll write more as I remember them.