Okay, so I know this is probably a ridiculous thing to blog about, but I do some of my best thinking while typing. I have this dilemma. I am scheduled for my C-Section in 33 days. There are so many decisions that have to be made between now and then. I am HORRIBLE with decisions. My sweet husband is less decisive than I am. I am convinced that is why God sent us a very opinionated 3 year old. She makes so many decisions easier (what's for dinner, what do you want to do today, what should I wear, etc.). Of course this is part of the reason she is spoiled rotten! Anyway, I am contemplating whether or not to have a tubal ligation, a.k.a. tube tie. There are so many pros and cons, I just can't make up my mind. I know that this is a decision that my husband and I are going to make based on what is best for us, but I just thought I would vent here to hear my thoughts and get other peoples stances/experiences on the whole ordeal. By the way, this is going to be a way too honest and open post, so please don't get offended. It's just my rambling thoughts.
To start, I cannot imagine EVER wanting to be pregnant again. It is horrible on my body and the only benefit I get from it is the weight I lose. Definitely not enough reason to keep doing it. Don't get me wrong, I have loved experiencing the "miracle of life" and the things it brings, but I just don't know that I want to keep experiencing it. I know how quickly you forget the bad parts once the baby is born, but I don't want to forget. I don't want to be suckered into thinking "it might be better this time" or "you'll forget how bad it is soon". I obviously believed that last time and it got me a ticket on that boat again. I also don't know how well my husband would handle me being pregnant again. It is almost as hard on him as it is on me. We don't regret that I am pregnant or the fact we are about to have another precious daughter and I really don't want to sound like I take it for granted. I just don't want to go through all of this again.
When I imagine being pregnant again, I gag. However when I imagine having more kids, I am okay with that. I know that sounds weird. I could be completely content with 2 daughters, especially if I knew that was going to be it. A few years ago, we weren't 100 % sure we wanted kids. A year ago, we weren't 100% sure we wanted a second child, so how can I be sure I won't want more in a couple years.
There are a lot of pros to having the procedure done now, some shallow, some a little deeper; Not being pregnant again (esp. unexpected), If we stay in our current house, they could each have their own room, We won't need a bigger car, No "middle child", etc.
I know I could always decide and have the procedure later, but since I'm having a C-Section, I will already be all opened up and insurance will cover it 100 percent.
The health benefits are also very appealing. Since I have a bleeding disorder my monthly cycle is a mess. I either have to be on Depo Provera shots or take at least two packets of pills a month. Neither one is good hormonally and I know both choices cause excessive weight gain (not that it's my only problem). If I had the procedure done while I'm having the C-Section, I don't have to worry about another surgery or the risk of bleeding problems that comes with it.
It is just so hard to know what to do, especially when it's a permanent decision. I am quite sure I will be okay (assuming I don't get pregnant again) with either one once a decision is made, it is just the not knowing and trying to decide that gets me. Maybe I should seek the counsel of my three year old.
4 comments:
i had my tubes tied during the c-section when my second child was born. as you know 6 years later at the exactly right time i received 2 more precious children without being pregnant. God blessed our decision in the most unexpected way. love ya! and praying as ya'll let Him guide you to the perfect decision for your family. dorothy graves
I guess it all comes down to if you want to HAVE anymore. Otherwise, the choice is simple. DO IT! If I have a c-section I am. I hope that I do not have a c-section though. You know best that if you decide you want more there are always children that need homes. Will they do a partial hystorectomy due to your bleeding disorder? You keep your ovaries so you don't go into menopause, but the monthly fun would end. And it sounds like you have LOTS of fun. If you are seriously considering ligating, I would ask. It never hurts!
Hey Becky! Since we just recently went through this same decision process, I thought I'd comment. We were definitely in agreement over being "done" - just tried to decide who was finalizing that decision! After talking with my OB-GYN, I felt better about Russell having the big "V". The success rate of a tubal vs. a vasectomy are vastly different...vasectomies being much more effective. If I were to get pregnant again (after a tubal), it would obviously be very dangerous for me and baby...plus, I didn't want anything to hinder my healing in these weeks we're in...the section healing is plenty to deal with! We know it's nothing for a man, it's the least they can do, right?! So we are going that route. Hope you are doing well and these next 4 weeks go by fast. It does get hard on our bodies here at the end. I'll be thinking about you all & praying for your new baby girl on the way!
All I have to say is, what's wrong with having a middle child. :) Really seriously, I will be praying for you and your decision. Love you and you are on the home stretch!!!!
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