It's Been Too Long

Okay, so to be honest, I am not sure where I have left off. I know that the past few weeks have been absolutely nutso. Yes, I made up that word and no, spell check doesn't like it.

At home - Things at home have been crazy. We are just as busy as ever. I did finally get birthday invitations out (good thing since the party is tomorrow), I have cleaned a little house here and there, paid some bills, did some laundry and got through some doctor's appointments. Bad news is laundry still gets dirty, house needs to be cleaned again, birthday party is tomorrow and we have a four year old and 3 month check up the week after next. Where does it end?

At work - Things are going well. We got the embroidery machine up and running and have played around with it a lot. We have a private tutor coming out next week to teach us everything we would ever want to know. We also got the heat press (for t-shirts) up and going. We made about 40 t-shirts in a 2 hour period on our first run. Not too shabby.

I am not exactly sure what has been going on with me, but my stress level has been through the roof. I feel like I am drowning in the to-do's. Several days this week I got to my breaking point and had to walk away from it all. For the most part the adjustment from one to two kids has gone well, but there are days that it just seems to be too much. Sweet Pea has been really bad this week. Literally the few minutes of the day she wasn't screaming and crying, Peanut was. I would pull my hair out, but thanks to my hormones it is already falling out by the fist fulls on its own. Some days you just need a minute or two of silence. One night I finally snapped and wound up driving up and down the highway at 11:30 pm just to clear my mind and feel alive again.

It's hard to believe that just over a year ago we were going through this. Are we ever going to get pregnant? Are we going to get a new house or not? And now we have the house and the kid. Most days I feel EXTREMELY blessed. However, there are also days (more so than not this week) that I wonder what in the world we were thinking. Bigger house means more to clean, more junk to put away, bigger house payment and higher electric bills. Another kid means one more mouth to feed, body to clothe, scream to hear and all the junk to haul around. I don't mean to sound unappreciative. I know that there are so many people that would be so amazed to have the opportunity to own a house, no matter the size and I know that so many people want kids and can't have them. I know that God has blessed way beyond what we deserve. I think that I am just in a funk right now. There is too much going on around me and I can't settle back in to a norm. I hope it ends soon.