I felt like I might need to clarify some things from my last post.
1. Therapy - I am COMPLETELY supportive of counseling and therapy and know for a fact it has worked wonders in my life, as well as many others. I think that it should be mandatory for all humans to go to counseling during their lives.
2. Unwanted Advice - It is not that I am opposed to advice, however the only advice that I would deem "wanted" on this given day is a) crawl under a rock and sleep for the next ten years or b) polish off a large bottle of Tequila and then a) crawl under a rock and sleep for the next ten years. Other than those two pieces of advice, there is a good chance all other advice will be stored in my "take into consideration somewhere down the road" bin, due to my current state of poor attitude.
3. I know that some of my ramblings are about the fact we had a second two year old with us for the last few weeks. I am very aware it was JUST another two year old. It was NOT a big deal for me at all. There are people who deal with many more kids than that everyday and don't break of sweat. I have worked in day cares and nannied for decades and have had a ratio of adults to children way worse than that. I have cared for 17 of my siblings for weeks at a time by myself. My issues are not with the increase of work, but rather everyone else's attitude and behavior due to my increase in work.
4. Advice is appreciated. Even if it is stored in the "take into consideration somewhere down the road" bin, I would love to know what to do and will definitely take it to heart. Maybe my days of being a servant should be over now that I am a wife and mother. I don't know. I am not sure what God calls us to do in situations like this, but would love any scriptures, ideas, suggestions, etc. My heart longs to be a giving, unselfish servant, but I am not sure it's what is right.
5. I do not regret the events of the past week (okay, except for the whole running out of gas thing), I just regret not knowing how to balance being God's servant on top of my normal responsibilities. I am also unsure how to deal with being God's servant and doing what you feel called to do when others close to you (and effected by you) aren't on the same page.
Since it is 1:30 in the morning and I am doped up on cold medicine, I hope that this rambling is somewhat clear...you know, like mud?
2 comments:
Becky, I think that the things you are going through and struggling with are things that most of us have a hard time with also. I know that in the past I have way overextended myself by wanting to help out and have gotten beaten down and drug out too. Then there seems to be times where I go the other extreme and do nothing except sleep, play with Jayden and do whatever I want to do that doesn't involve "work" - that is house work, homework, etc. It's really hard for me to not bounce back and forth. I always feel tired and run down. I don't know if it's just me, or if I need a lot of sleep or what, but it's very frustrating. I think you have very clearly explained what all of us feel sometimes and I wish I had a better answer for you, but I think you are right in that we have to find our middle ground. I now have a housekeeper to do the dirty work since I work full time. Does that mean that my laundry is always done or that the house is always picked up or that there is always a home cooked meal on my table? Heck no! The laundry is usually piled up in our living room or the empty bedroom we refer to as "the laundry room," the house is usually a wreck, and we eat out 75-90% of our meals. But, to me it's more important to spend the time I do have with my family and get the rest I need to be able to be there for them. I know not everyone can afford a housekeeper, or can stand to live on resturant food and have a messy house, but that's what I decided was my priority.
My Mom always told me that you have to do things in a way that's best for your family. And everybody's way is going to be different. Don't feel like you have to fit into the mold of perfect Mom, Wife, Friend. Do what's best for your family.
I think you did an AWESOME job with the O'Neals. I really admire your energy and attitude. Sorry for the super long "rant" and comment. I tend to talk (or type) a lot! :)
Becky, I agree that therapy helps ... I'm actually doing it online at mytherapynet so that I don't have an excuse for not getting to my appointments. I didn't run out of gas this week, but I relate to your rock and tequila fantasies. If it wasn't for my therapist, I'd be right there.
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